tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-54598073207924214452024-03-08T12:53:01.559-08:00FreedomAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14690488319011953077noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5459807320792421445.post-20042239635664771832017-10-21T05:24:00.003-07:002017-10-21T05:24:36.211-07:00Were You Meant To Be Single? That’s OK<img height="299" src="https://i2.wp.com/overthinkersdating.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/p23.jpeg?fit=867%2C650&ssl=1" width="400" /><br />
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I’m just going to say it: some people were <a href="https://www.cheatsheet.com/health-fitness/signs-youre-meant-to-be-single.html/?a=viewall" style="border-bottom-color: rgb(187, 187, 187); border-bottom-style: dotted; border-image: initial; border-left-color: initial; border-left-style: initial; border-right-color: initial; border-right-style: initial; border-top-color: initial; border-top-style: initial; border-width: 0px 0px 1px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #66727d; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration-line: none; transition: 0.2s ease; vertical-align: baseline;">meant to be single</a>. Not that they couldn’t fine someone if they wanted— but for some people they <em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">want </em>to be single and they’re happier that way. In a society that pushes coupledom in every book, movie, and advertisement, it can be hard to accept. It’s pathetic how much we try to make people feel like they’re doing something wrong for being on their own. Because there’s nothing wrong with staying single and, for some, it’s definitely the right fit.</div>
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“To some, concluding that you were ‘<a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/living-single/201003/are-you-single-heart" style="border-bottom-color: rgb(187, 187, 187); border-bottom-style: dotted; border-image: initial; border-left-color: initial; border-left-style: initial; border-right-color: initial; border-right-style: initial; border-top-color: initial; border-top-style: initial; border-width: 0px 0px 1px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #66727d; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration-line: none; transition: 0.2s ease; vertical-align: baseline;">meant to be single</a><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/living-single/201003/are-you-single-heart" style="border-bottom-color: rgb(187, 187, 187); border-bottom-style: dotted; border-image: initial; border-left-color: initial; border-left-style: initial; border-right-color: initial; border-right-style: initial; border-top-color: initial; border-top-style: initial; border-width: 0px 0px 1px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #66727d; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration-line: none; transition: 0.2s ease; vertical-align: baseline;">meant to be single</a>‘ may sound like a bad thing. Not to me. I’d just change the wording – I think I’m single at heart,” says Dr Bella Depaulo, who has done extensive research on the benefits of flying solo. “I love living single (except for the singlism) and never did have those reveries about some lavish wedding with the bridesmaids and the big white dress. To be single at heart, I think, means that you see yourself as single. Your life may or may not include the occasional romantic relationship, and you may or may not live alone or want to live alone, but you don’t aspire to live as part of a couple (married or otherwise) for the long term.”</div>
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Why is it so important? Well, we pressure too many people into being in relationships— and, let’s be honest, <em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">everyone</em> should know how to be independent.</div>
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Everyone Should Be Happy Single</h2>
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OK, so maybe not permanently— but at least for a while. Being in a relationship can be great and that the right option for many. But it’s still important for <em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">everyone </em>to be happy single, at least for a while. Whether you want to<a href="https://overthinkersdating.com/2017/07/29/signs-you-need-a-break-from-dating/" style="border-bottom-color: rgb(187, 187, 187); border-bottom-style: dotted; border-image: initial; border-left-color: initial; border-left-style: initial; border-right-color: initial; border-right-style: initial; border-top-color: initial; border-top-style: initial; border-width: 0px 0px 1px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #66727d; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration-line: none; transition: 0.2s ease; vertical-align: baseline;"> be in a relationship</a> or not, being happy single means that you’re secure, independent, and won’t get into a relationship for the wrong reasons. It keeps you grounded and boosts your confidence. If you find being single difficult and are desperate to get into a relationship, it’s time to start focusing on yourself. Look at what’s making you unhappy and spend some real time on self-improvement. Once you feel great on your own, you can decide whether or not a relationship is right for you.</div>
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And It Might Be Forever</h2>
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It may just be that you want to stay single— for a lot of reasons. If you don’t like being beholden to anyone, if you don’t like to plan for the future, if you feel like your job, your passions, or your friends are your number one priority, there’s nothing wrong with choosing to stay on your own. In fact, some studies have <a href="http://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/2016/08/05/singles-more-fulfilled-sociable-and-self-sufficient-than-married/" style="border-bottom-color: rgb(187, 187, 187); border-bottom-style: dotted; border-image: initial; border-left-color: initial; border-left-style: initial; border-right-color: initial; border-right-style: initial; border-top-color: initial; border-top-style: initial; border-width: 0px 0px 1px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #66727d; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration-line: none; transition: 0.2s ease; vertical-align: baseline;">shown greater fulfillment </a>levels for single people than those in relationships. So we need to stop thinking of it as a sign of loneliness or because someone isn’t desirable. Sometimes, being single is just a sign of being an effing amazing person all on your own and having your priorities set in a direction. What’s wrong with that? Maybe you’ll date around, maybe you won’t. But you’ll always go back to that independent life.</div>
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There’s a tendency to villainize or patronize single people that is so freaking annoying. Being single is a legitimate choice that allows so many to flourish. If you feel uncomfortable being single, make sure that you try it for a while and learn to be happy on your own. You may find that you like it to much you never want to change it— and that’s totally OK.</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14690488319011953077noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5459807320792421445.post-56011826247625216372017-10-21T05:23:00.001-07:002017-10-21T05:23:19.466-07:00How To Deal With Dating Burnout<br />
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M<span style="background-color: white; color: #283037; font-family: "Noto Serif", Georgia, serif; font-size: 19px;">aybe you love</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #283037; font-family: "Noto Serif", Georgia, serif; font-size: 19px;"> </span><a href="http://www.tinderseduction.com/how-to-have-a-successful-tinder-first-date-tips-part-2/" style="border-bottom-color: rgb(187, 187, 187); border-bottom-style: dotted; border-image: initial; border-left-color: initial; border-left-style: initial; border-right-color: initial; border-right-style: initial; border-top-color: initial; border-top-style: initial; border-width: 0px 0px 1px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #66727d; font-family: inherit; font-size: 19px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration-line: none; transition: 0.2s ease; vertical-align: baseline;">going on Tinder dates</a><span style="background-color: white; color: #283037; font-family: "Noto Serif", Georgia, serif; font-size: 19px;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #283037; font-family: "Noto Serif", Georgia, serif; font-size: 19px;">five times a week. Or maybe you </span><em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #283037; font-family: inherit; font-size: 19px; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">did </em><span style="background-color: white; color: #283037; font-family: "Noto Serif", Georgia, serif; font-size: 19px;">love it, but now it’s getting old. Or, if you’re anything like me, maybe even just the occasional date is getting overwhelming and everyone you meet is leaving a sour taste in your mouth. If that sounds like you, listen up. Because it could be dating fatigue— or even dating burnout.</span><br />
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“When you have dating burnout, you become<a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/modern-sex/201602/dating-burnout-in-the-fast-paced-times-tinder" style="border-bottom-color: rgb(187, 187, 187); border-bottom-style: dotted; border-image: initial; border-left-color: initial; border-left-style: initial; border-right-color: initial; border-right-style: initial; border-top-color: initial; border-top-style: initial; border-width: 0px 0px 1px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #66727d; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration-line: none; transition: 0.2s ease; vertical-align: baseline;"> less emotionally available</a>,” <em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Psychology Today </em>explains. “You go on countless dates, but you don’t feel much for any of them. You wonder if it’s the people you’re meeting, or if you’re no longer capable of having feelings at all. Your self-worth is shaky, and you feel hopeless, sad, and helpless. Dating feels more like a chore than an exciting opportunity. But, you continue going on dates because dating burnout is better than the pain you imagine if you stopped trying.” But you know what? Stopping trying isn’t the worst thing the world— especially if you only do it for a little while. Seriously, it’s OK to <a href="https://overthinkersdating.com/2017/09/12/dating-rules-you-need-to-ditch/" style="border-bottom-color: rgb(187, 187, 187); border-bottom-style: dotted; border-image: initial; border-left-color: initial; border-left-style: initial; border-right-color: initial; border-right-style: initial; border-top-color: initial; border-top-style: initial; border-width: 0px 0px 1px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #66727d; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration-line: none; transition: 0.2s ease; vertical-align: baseline;">give yourself a break </a>sometimes. Here’s what you need to know about dating burnout and what you can do about it. Because dating is supposed to be <em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">fun </em>remember?</div>
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If You’re Not Enjoying It Anymore, Give Yourself A Damn Break</h2>
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The comment about it feeling like a ‘chore’ is an important one. It doesn’t matter if you feel like you <em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">should </em>be enjoying it, if you’re not then you’re not. Don’t push yourself. Because if you’re not enjoying the process, you’re going to take it out on the person you’re going out with. You’ll be totally underwhelmed— and it often won’t be their fault.</div>
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Breaks Can Be Short Or Long</h2>
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As soon as you’re feeling jaded and <a href="https://overthinkersdating.com/2017/09/12/the-best-way-to-deal-with-first-date-nerves/" style="border-bottom-color: rgb(187, 187, 187); border-bottom-style: dotted; border-image: initial; border-left-color: initial; border-left-style: initial; border-right-color: initial; border-right-style: initial; border-top-color: initial; border-top-style: initial; border-width: 0px 0px 1px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #66727d; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration-line: none; transition: 0.2s ease; vertical-align: baseline;">cynical about dating</a><a href="https://overthinkersdating.com/2017/09/12/the-best-way-to-deal-with-first-date-nerves/" style="border-bottom-color: rgb(187, 187, 187); border-bottom-style: dotted; border-image: initial; border-left-color: initial; border-left-style: initial; border-right-color: initial; border-right-style: initial; border-top-color: initial; border-top-style: initial; border-width: 0px 0px 1px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #66727d; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration-line: none; transition: 0.2s ease; vertical-align: baseline;">cynical about dating</a>— just stop. There’s no reason to overthink it, because taking a break doesn’t mean you’re giving up for good. Take a week off dating, take a month off. Hell, take longer. It’s whatever feels right for you. You don’t need to feel like you’re throwing your hands up in the air completely, you’re just giving yourself an opportunity to reset and come back to it feeling fresh and, more importantly, positive about the idea of meeting someone.</div>
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Use The Time To Touch Base With Yourself</h2>
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Breaks can be so useful, because they give you a change to get back in touch with yourself. Remember what you love doing and all the great things about being single— this will keep you from dating just for the sake of dating. But also remind yourself of why you are dating, what you’re looking for in a person and what you want out of a relationship. Giving yourself some time to feel more grounded and in touch with yourself will make dating a much happier prospect.</div>
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If you really want to meet someone, you may feel the pressure to keep on the dating wheel. But dating while feeling pressured, needy, or just plain tired isn’t going to do anyone any good. Take a break and get back in touch with what makes you feel happy. Then, when it seems like a fun idea, ease your way back in. It shouldn’t feel like a job— so if it’s not adding to your life, you simply don’t have to do it.</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14690488319011953077noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5459807320792421445.post-31761835724020000362017-10-21T04:28:00.001-07:002017-10-21T04:28:19.654-07:007 Signs Someone Definitely Isn’t “The One”<img height="266" src="https://i2.wp.com/overthinkersdating.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/br.jpeg?fit=940%2C627&ssl=1" width="400" /><br />
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If you’re on a never-ending fight to <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/news/how-to-find-the-one/" rel="noopener noreferrer" style="border-bottom-color: rgb(187, 187, 187); border-bottom-style: dotted; border-image: initial; border-left-color: initial; border-left-style: initial; border-right-color: initial; border-right-style: initial; border-top-color: initial; border-top-style: initial; border-width: 0px 0px 1px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #66727d; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration-line: none; transition: 0.2s ease; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank">find “The One”</a>, chances are you’re going to see what you want to see. So many of us want to be in a good, healthy relationship — that’s natural. But an obsession with “The One” can lead to some big relationship mistakes, because you’re missing the signs. Don’t feel bad, so many of us have done it, but no matter how long you’ve been in a relationship, there’s always time to get out of it if you realize it isn’t want you want – and go find one that is.</div>
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If you realize that someone isn’t “The One”, don’t panic. You can handle it.”When you reach a point that <a href="https://www.bustle.com/articles/116802-13-thoughts-you-have-when-you-lost-the-person-you-thought-was-the-one" style="border-bottom-color: rgb(187, 187, 187); border-bottom-style: dotted; border-image: initial; border-left-color: initial; border-left-style: initial; border-right-color: initial; border-right-style: initial; border-top-color: initial; border-top-style: initial; border-width: 0px 0px 1px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #66727d; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration-line: none; transition: 0.2s ease; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_parent">you realize they aren’t “The One,</a>” be courageous and direct,” <a href="http://www.estherboykin.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" style="border-bottom-color: rgb(187, 187, 187); border-bottom-style: dotted; border-image: initial; border-left-color: initial; border-left-style: initial; border-right-color: initial; border-right-style: initial; border-top-color: initial; border-top-style: initial; border-width: 0px 0px 1px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #66727d; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration-line: none; transition: 0.2s ease; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank">marriage and family therapist</a> Esther Boykin tells Bustle. “The old saying, ‘It’s not you …’ is actually a good starting point. The truth is that it’s neither of you, it’s the ‘us’ that doesn’t work.”</div>
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And how do you realize that it’s not working? While every relationship is different, there are some signs that mean it’s just not right— for anyone.</div>
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So here are seven signs someone definitely isn’t “The One”, because it’s about a lot more than just loving each other:</div>
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<span class="_2Zwtf" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">1. </span>All You Have Is Passion</h3>
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<cite class="_1RLEr" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><a href="http://giphy.com/gifs/50-shades-BNctwOt8kQ3gQ" rel="noopener" style="border-bottom-color: rgb(187, 187, 187); border-bottom-style: dotted; border-image: initial; border-left-color: initial; border-left-style: initial; border-right-color: initial; border-right-style: initial; border-top-color: initial; border-top-style: initial; border-width: 0px 0px 1px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #66727d; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration-line: none; transition: 0.2s ease; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank">GIPHY</a></cite></div>
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Yes, it’s great to have passion, so much passion that you can’t keep your hands off of each other. And you deserve that. But you need <em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">so much more</em>. “Imagine life with this person in five to 10 years, when the excitement has worn off, and ask yourself if you have the skills and desire to compromise on the issues that are incompatible now,” <a href="http://www.estherboykin.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" style="border-bottom-color: rgb(187, 187, 187); border-bottom-style: dotted; border-image: initial; border-left-color: initial; border-left-style: initial; border-right-color: initial; border-right-style: initial; border-top-color: initial; border-top-style: initial; border-width: 0px 0px 1px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #66727d; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration-line: none; transition: 0.2s ease; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank">marriage and family therapist</a> Esther Boykin tells Bustle. “We like to think that love conquers all but the reality is that you need more than love to if you want a relationship to go the distance.” Make sure you’ve got a strong foundation.</div>
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<span class="_2Zwtf" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">2. </span>You’re Not Yourself With Them</h3>
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<cite class="_1RLEr" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><a href="http://giphy.com/gifs/sorry-glee-sad-pGM4yi3ql6SeA" rel="noopener" style="border-bottom-color: rgb(187, 187, 187); border-bottom-style: dotted; border-image: initial; border-left-color: initial; border-left-style: initial; border-right-color: initial; border-right-style: initial; border-top-color: initial; border-top-style: initial; border-width: 0px 0px 1px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #66727d; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration-line: none; transition: 0.2s ease; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank">GIPHY</a></cite></div>
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This might seem basic, but it’s more common than you think. “If you’re in a relationship with someone and feel like you need to censor yourself, or stifle parts of who you are to make it work, that’s a red flag that they may not be ‘The One’,” Boykin tells Bustle. I’ve watched so many friends <a href="https://www.bustle.com/articles/170052-what-to-do-if-youre-in-love-but-feel-incompatible" style="border-bottom-color: rgb(187, 187, 187); border-bottom-style: dotted; border-image: initial; border-left-color: initial; border-left-style: initial; border-right-color: initial; border-right-style: initial; border-top-color: initial; border-top-style: initial; border-width: 0px 0px 1px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #66727d; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration-line: none; transition: 0.2s ease; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_parent">be in relationships </a>where they aren’t relaxed and comfortable— I’ve done the same myself. You’re just so desperate to keep your partner happy, even if you’re not. Make sure you can really be <em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">you </em>or the relationship just isn’t worth it.</div>
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<span class="_2Zwtf" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">3. </span>Your Gut Is Telling You Something</h3>
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<cite class="_1RLEr" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><a href="http://giphy.com/gifs/8p05WdXxPiOyY" rel="noopener" style="border-bottom-color: rgb(187, 187, 187); border-bottom-style: dotted; border-image: initial; border-left-color: initial; border-left-style: initial; border-right-color: initial; border-right-style: initial; border-top-color: initial; border-top-style: initial; border-width: 0px 0px 1px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #66727d; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration-line: none; transition: 0.2s ease; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank">GIPHY</a></cite></div>
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It’s amazing how we can completely ignore our own intuition, our own gut instinct, when we don’t like what it’s telling us. “Everyone has an inner voice,” Boston-based <a href="http://drbobbiwegner.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" style="border-bottom-color: rgb(187, 187, 187); border-bottom-style: dotted; border-image: initial; border-left-color: initial; border-left-style: initial; border-right-color: initial; border-right-style: initial; border-top-color: initial; border-top-style: initial; border-width: 0px 0px 1px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #66727d; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration-line: none; transition: 0.2s ease; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank">clinical psychologist</a> Bobbi Wegner tells Bustle. “Follow it. Pay attention to the immediate feelings you have when you think of the person.” That little knot in the pit of your stomach? It knows.</div>
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<span class="_2Zwtf" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">4. </span>You Disagree On The Fundamentals</h3>
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<cite class="_1RLEr" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><a href="http://giphy.com/gifs/reaction-gif-the-cosby-show-phylicia-rashad-4QizBET5UO7II" rel="noopener" style="border-bottom-color: rgb(187, 187, 187); border-bottom-style: dotted; border-image: initial; border-left-color: initial; border-left-style: initial; border-right-color: initial; border-right-style: initial; border-top-color: initial; border-top-style: initial; border-width: 0px 0px 1px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #66727d; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration-line: none; transition: 0.2s ease; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank">GIPHY</a></cite></div>
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You definitely want kids? Need to travel? Insist on saving money? We all have our deal breakers. And you know what, you’re <em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">allowed </em>to<a href="https://www.bustle.com/articles/130514-11-signs-the-person-you-thought-was-the-one-is-not-the-one-for-you" style="border-bottom-color: rgb(187, 187, 187); border-bottom-style: dotted; border-image: initial; border-left-color: initial; border-left-style: initial; border-right-color: initial; border-right-style: initial; border-top-color: initial; border-top-style: initial; border-width: 0px 0px 1px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #66727d; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration-line: none; transition: 0.2s ease; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_parent"> have deal-breakers</a>. “If you are in love with someone, but you question your compatibility, you need to ask yourself what types of issues you are incompatible about,” <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/dr-nikki-martinez-psyd-lcpc/" rel="noopener noreferrer" style="border-bottom-color: rgb(187, 187, 187); border-bottom-style: dotted; border-image: initial; border-left-color: initial; border-left-style: initial; border-right-color: initial; border-right-style: initial; border-top-color: initial; border-top-style: initial; border-width: 0px 0px 1px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #66727d; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration-line: none; transition: 0.2s ease; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank">psychologist Nikki Martinez</a> tells Bustle. “Are they deal-breakers, or are they minor concessions that you can live with never agreeing on?” If they’re deal-breakers, they’re just not the right person for you.</div>
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<span class="_2Zwtf" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">5. </span>You Don’t Miss Them</h3>
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<cite class="_1RLEr" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><a href="http://giphy.com/gifs/rhoa-real-housewives-bye-realitytvgifs-xTiTnGQBF0vfpfPEg8" rel="noopener" style="border-bottom-color: rgb(187, 187, 187); border-bottom-style: dotted; border-image: initial; border-left-color: initial; border-left-style: initial; border-right-color: initial; border-right-style: initial; border-top-color: initial; border-top-style: initial; border-width: 0px 0px 1px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #66727d; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration-line: none; transition: 0.2s ease; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank">GIPHY</a></cite></div>
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“This is so normal, it weirdly slips under the radar: You’re not looking forward to seeing them,” New York–based<a href="https://forum.askapril.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" style="border-bottom-color: rgb(187, 187, 187); border-bottom-style: dotted; border-image: initial; border-left-color: initial; border-left-style: initial; border-right-color: initial; border-right-style: initial; border-top-color: initial; border-top-style: initial; border-width: 0px 0px 1px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #66727d; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration-line: none; transition: 0.2s ease; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank"> relationship expert and author </a>April Masini tells Bustle “When you’re feeling the love, you want to connect — whether it’s in person, electronically or by sending and receiving a love letter in the mail.” It’s great to be independent. In fact, I think spending time apart and missing each other can be<a href="https://www.bustle.com/articles/181223-how-can-you-tell-if-someone-is-the-one-11-signs-your-partner-is-a-match" style="border-bottom-color: rgb(187, 187, 187); border-bottom-style: dotted; border-image: initial; border-left-color: initial; border-left-style: initial; border-right-color: initial; border-right-style: initial; border-top-color: initial; border-top-style: initial; border-width: 0px 0px 1px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #66727d; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration-line: none; transition: 0.2s ease; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_parent"> great for your relationship</a>. But if you never miss them, never feel a need to message or call them, something’s up.</div>
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<span class="_2Zwtf" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">6. </span>They Shut You Down Emotionally</h3>
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<cite class="_1RLEr" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><a href="http://giphy.com/gifs/tLGBynLboUTLy" rel="noopener" style="border-bottom-color: rgb(187, 187, 187); border-bottom-style: dotted; border-image: initial; border-left-color: initial; border-left-style: initial; border-right-color: initial; border-right-style: initial; border-top-color: initial; border-top-style: initial; border-width: 0px 0px 1px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #66727d; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration-line: none; transition: 0.2s ease; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank">GIPHY</a></cite></div>
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Emotional support is a non-negotiable. “Someone who is emotionally unavailable and seems unwilling or unable to be present with you during difficult times is unlikely to be the right one for you,” Boykin says. “A healthy relationship requires you both to be able to show up emotionally for each other, especially when things are hard.” Whether they’re apathetic or just totally self-involved, not being there to support you just isn’t OK.</div>
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<span class="_2Zwtf" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">7. </span>The Trust And Respect Isn’t There</h3>
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<cite class="_1RLEr" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><a href="http://giphy.com/gifs/real-housewives-of-orange-county-rhoc-heather-dubrow-V5Jc8pRfCFkQw" rel="noopener" style="border-bottom-color: rgb(187, 187, 187); border-bottom-style: dotted; border-image: initial; border-left-color: initial; border-left-style: initial; border-right-color: initial; border-right-style: initial; border-top-color: initial; border-top-style: initial; border-width: 0px 0px 1px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #66727d; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration-line: none; transition: 0.2s ease; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank">GIPHY</a></cite></div>
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Maybe you never had it to begin with — or maybe you lost it somewhere along the way. Bottom line? If you don’t trust and respect that person, they’re not right for you. And if they don’t trust and respect <em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">you,</em> they’re not right for you. “Once trust and respect is lost, then so is the relationship,” <a href="http://danielamis.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" style="border-bottom-color: rgb(187, 187, 187); border-bottom-style: dotted; border-image: initial; border-left-color: initial; border-left-style: initial; border-right-color: initial; border-right-style: initial; border-top-color: initial; border-top-style: initial; border-width: 0px 0px 1px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #66727d; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration-line: none; transition: 0.2s ease; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank">relationship trainer Daniel Amis</a> tells Bustle. “In order for a relationship to be successful, it has to be built on a strong foundation, which includes trust and respect.” You’re worth it.</div>
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It can be hard to admit that a relationship isn’t working, but it’s <em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">so </em>important<em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> </em>to be realistic with yourself when someone isn’t “The One”. Not only will it get you out of a bad relationship, it’ll make sure you’re open and single when someone comes along who actually deserves you.</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14690488319011953077noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5459807320792421445.post-76828962826721237712017-10-21T04:05:00.000-07:002017-10-21T04:11:37.046-07:00Do Dating App Algorithms Work? Here's Why They're Often Wrong, According To A New Study<img height="240" src="https://typeset-beta.imgix.net/uploads/image/2017/10/16/e175bd38-fde3-40f9-841c-905c5ffa3e91-fotolia_126300532_subscription_monthly_m.jpg?w=740&h=444&fit=crop&crop=faces&auto=format&q=70" width="400" /><br />
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If you've ever felt like your 90 percent matches on dating apps are 0 percent matches in real life, it's not just you. A new study in <em style="box-sizing: inherit;">Psychological Science </em>has found that <a href="http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0956797617714580" rel="noopener noreferrer" style="background-color: transparent; box-sizing: inherit; color: #5b96e4; cursor: pointer; text-decoration-line: none; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_blank">dating app algorithms</a> can't predict how much people actually like each other once they meet. Does this mean we shouldn't even be paying attention to those match scores?</div>
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For the study, researchers from the University of Utah, the University of California, Davis, and Northwestern University had people answer over 100 questions on things that have been proven to correlate with what they want in a partner, like their politics and what kind of relationship they're looking for. Then, they had everyone meet through four-minute speed dates. They predicted the likelihood that people would want to go on another date using one of the most effective algorithms available and compared these predictions to the actual outcome of the speed dating event.</div>
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None of the answers to the questions were able to predict how likely two people were to want to date. It could only predict how many people they liked and were liked by in general. "These results suggest that compatibility elements of human mating are challenging to predict before two people meet," they concluded.</div>
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However, <a href="https://www.thecut.com/2017/09/a-study-to-make-you-feel-better-about-your-bad-tinder-dates.html" rel="noopener noreferrer" style="background-color: transparent; box-sizing: inherit; color: #5b96e4; cursor: pointer; text-decoration-line: none; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_blank">the study's lead author, Samantha Joel, told </a><em style="box-sizing: inherit;"><a href="https://www.thecut.com/2017/09/a-study-to-make-you-feel-better-about-your-bad-tinder-dates.html" rel="noopener noreferrer" style="background-color: transparent; box-sizing: inherit; color: #5b96e4; cursor: pointer; text-decoration-line: none; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_blank">The Cut</a> </em>that while these questions may not predict who hits it off, they could give dating app users valuable information about whether or not someone's right for them in the long-term.</div>
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Most dating apps don't know how good their algorithms are because they don't ask users whether they went on dates and how their dates went, Dale Markowitz, a former OkCupid engineer, tells Bustle. So, most dating apps optimize their algorithms based on how much people press "like" buttons, message each other, or exchange contact info, which may not predict actual relationship success.</div>
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However, Markowitz points out that four-minute speed dates may not be the best measure of how well the algorithm predicted compatibility either, since someone's willingness to date someone after a speed date will be based mostly on physical attraction. "Any algorithm that doesn't take into account physical attractiveness is likely going to be way off," she says.</div>
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Another issue is that a lot of dating apps ask questions that aren't actually <a href="https://www.bustle.com/articles/105196-7-weird-factors-that-predict-a-happy-relationship-because-how-annoying-you-are-on-facebook-matters" style="background-color: transparent; box-sizing: inherit; color: #5b96e4; cursor: pointer; text-decoration-line: none; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_parent">proven to predict compatibility</a>, says Markowitz. For example, some ask about personality traits like extroversion and openness that might seem like they <a href="https://www.bustle.com/articles/176599-5-ways-to-know-if-you-your-partner-are-compatible-or-not" style="background-color: transparent; box-sizing: inherit; color: #5b96e4; cursor: pointer; text-decoration-line: none; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_parent">predict people's compatibility</a> but aren't proven to. The traits that do matter can be unpredictable, which is why you see random questions on OkCupid like, "Do you like the taste of beer?"</div>
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"The idea is to throw everything at the wall — every possible question that could be related to romantic chemistry — and see what sticks."</blockquote>
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"The idea is to throw everything at the wall — every possible question that could be related to romantic chemistry — and see what sticks," Markowitz says. And it seems like this approach has merit, because the questions that have worked the best on OkCupid aren't the ones you'd expect. <a href="https://theblog.okcupid.com/the-best-questions-for-a-first-date-dba6adaa9df2" rel="noopener noreferrer" style="background-color: transparent; box-sizing: inherit; color: #5b96e4; cursor: pointer; text-decoration-line: none; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_blank">The ones with the most power</a> to predict long-term potential are<em style="box-sizing: inherit;"> "</em>Do you like horror movies?," "Have you ever traveled around another country alone?," and "Wouldn’t it be fun to chuck it all and go live on a sailboat?"</div>
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Even then, people may not answer the questions honestly — especially on apps with questions like whether you'd prefer to date someone of your own race, how messy you are, and whether or not you're annoying.</div>
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<span style="font-family: , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 17.6px;">If you </span><a href="https://www.bustle.com/articles/179045-when-should-you-delete-your-dating-profile-if-you-met-on-someone-on-an-app-9" style="box-sizing: inherit; color: #5b96e4; cursor: pointer; font-family: proxima-nova, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 17.6px; text-decoration-line: none; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_parent">leave OkCupid because you got into a relationship</a><span style="font-family: , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 17.6px;">, the site will ask you for the username of the person you're dating. But it's hard to know if people are actually more likely to get into a relationship with someone with a high match score or if they're just more likely to message them in the first place.</span><br />
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So, dating app algorithms are probably good at predicting things like who will message or swipe right to who; however, when it comes to how you'll get along in person, their effectiveness remains unknown.</div>
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<div class="jw-media jw-reset" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); background-color: transparent; border: 0px; bottom: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; color: inherit; cursor: pointer; direction: ltr; float: none; font-size: 1em; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; height: 345.375px; left: 0px; line-height: 1em; list-style: none; margin: 0px; overflow: hidden; padding: 0px; pointer-events: all; position: absolute; right: 0px; top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; width: 614px;">
</div>
<div class="jw-preview jw-reset" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: url("https://cdn.jwplayer.com/thumbs/odFRgM7l-720.jpg"); background-origin: initial; background-position: 50% 50%; background-repeat: no-repeat; background-size: cover; border: 0px; bottom: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; color: inherit; direction: ltr; float: none; font-size: 1em; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; height: 345.375px; left: 0px; line-height: 1em; list-style: none; margin: 0px; opacity: 1; padding: 0px; pointer-events: none; position: absolute; right: 0px; top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; visibility: visible; width: 614px;">
</div>
<div class="jw-overlays jw-reset" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); background-color: transparent; border: 0px; bottom: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; color: inherit; cursor: auto; direction: ltr; float: none; font-size: 1em; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; height: 345.375px; left: 0px; line-height: 1em; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; pointer-events: none; position: absolute; right: 0px; top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; width: 614px;">
<div class="jw-plugin jw-reset" id="jwplayer-video-1_ping" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); background-color: transparent; border: 0px; bottom: 2.5em; box-sizing: inherit; color: inherit; direction: ltr; float: none; font-size: 1em; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: 1em; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; pointer-events: all; position: absolute; vertical-align: baseline;">
</div>
<div class="jw-plugin jw-reset" id="jwplayer-video-1_googima" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); background-color: transparent; border: 0px; bottom: 2.5em; box-sizing: inherit; color: inherit; direction: ltr; float: none; font-size: 1em; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; height: 345.375px; line-height: 1em; list-style: none; margin: 0px; opacity: 0; overflow: hidden; padding: 0px; pointer-events: none; position: absolute; vertical-align: baseline; visibility: hidden; width: 614px;">
<div id="jwplayer-video-1_ad" style="box-sizing: inherit; height: 345.375px; position: absolute; width: 614px;">
</div>
</div>
<div class="jw-plugin jw-reset" id="jwplayer-video-1_jwpsrv" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); background-color: transparent; border: 0px; bottom: 2.5em; box-sizing: inherit; color: inherit; direction: ltr; float: none; font-size: 1em; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: 1em; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; pointer-events: all; position: absolute; vertical-align: baseline;">
</div>
<div class="jw-plugin jw-reset" id="jwplayer-video-1_gapro" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); background-color: transparent; border: 0px; bottom: 2.5em; box-sizing: inherit; color: inherit; direction: ltr; float: none; font-size: 1em; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: 1em; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; pointer-events: all; position: absolute; vertical-align: baseline;">
</div>
<div class="jw-plugin jw-reset jw-plugin-related" id="jwplayer-video-1_related" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); background-color: transparent; border: 0px; bottom: 2.5em; box-sizing: inherit; color: inherit; direction: ltr; float: none; font-size: 1em; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: 1em; list-style: none; margin: 0px; opacity: 0; padding: 0px; pointer-events: all; position: absolute; vertical-align: baseline; visibility: hidden;">
</div>
</div>
<div class="jw-controls jw-reset" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); background-color: transparent; border: 0px; bottom: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; color: inherit; direction: ltr; float: none; font-size: 1em; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; height: 345.375px; left: 0px; line-height: 1em; list-style: none; margin: 0px; overflow: hidden; padding: 0px; pointer-events: none; position: absolute; right: 0px; top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; width: 614px;">
<div class="jw-display jw-reset" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); background-color: transparent; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; color: inherit; direction: ltr; display: table; float: none; font-size: 1em; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; height: 345px; line-height: 1em; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 2.5em 0px; position: relative; transition: opacity 0.3s ease, visibility 0.3s ease; vertical-align: baseline; width: 614px;">
<div class="jw-display-container jw-reset" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); background-color: transparent; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; color: inherit; direction: ltr; display: table-cell; float: none; font-size: 1em; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; height: 265px; line-height: 1em; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: center; vertical-align: middle;">
<div class="jw-display-controls jw-reset" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); background-color: transparent; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; color: inherit; direction: ltr; display: inline-block; float: none; font-size: 1em; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: 1em; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: left; vertical-align: baseline;">
<div class="jw-display-icon-container jw-display-icon-display jw-background-color jw-reset" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); background: none rgb(74, 74, 74); border-radius: 0.3em; border: 0px; box-sizing: content-box; color: inherit; cursor: pointer; direction: ltr; display: inline-block; float: left; font-size: 1em; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; height: auto; line-height: 1em; list-style: none; margin: 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px; pointer-events: none; transition: background-color 0.3s ease, opacity 0.3s ease, visibility 0.3s ease; vertical-align: baseline; width: auto;">
<div aria-label="Start playback" class="jw-icon jw-icon-display jw-button-color jw-reset" role="button" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); background-color: transparent; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; color: white; cursor: pointer; direction: ltr; fill: rgb(255, 255, 255); float: none; font-family: jw-icons; font-size: 1em; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; height: 77px; line-height: 77px; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; pointer-events: none; text-align: center; transition: color 0.3s ease, fill 0.3s ease; vertical-align: baseline; width: 77px;" tabindex="0">
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="jw-controls-right jw-reset" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); background-color: transparent; border: 0px; bottom: 2em; box-sizing: inherit; color: inherit; direction: ltr; float: none; font-size: 1em; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; left: 0px; line-height: 1em; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; position: absolute; right: 0px; top: 0px; transition: opacity 0.3s ease, visibility 0.3s ease; vertical-align: baseline;">
<div class="jw-dock jw-reset" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); background-color: transparent; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; clear: right; color: inherit; direction: ltr; float: none; font-size: 1em; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: 1em; list-style: none; margin: 0.75em; opacity: 1; padding: 0px; transition: opacity 0.3s ease, visibility 0.3s ease; vertical-align: baseline;">
<div button="related" class="jw-dock-button jw-background-color jw-reset jw-related-dock-btn" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); background: none rgb(74, 74, 74); border-radius: 0.3em; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; color: inherit; cursor: pointer; direction: ltr; float: right; font-size: 1em; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; height: 2.5em; line-height: 1em; list-style: none; margin: 0.5em; padding: 0px; pointer-events: all; position: relative; transition: background-color 0.3s ease, opacity 0.3s ease, visibility 0.3s ease; vertical-align: baseline; width: 2.5em;">
<div aria-label="Discover" class="jw-icon jw-dock-image jw-button-color jw-reset" role="button" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); background-color: transparent; background-image: url("data:image/svg+xml; background-position: 50% 50%; background-repeat: no-repeat; background-size: 20px; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; color: white; direction: ltr; fill: rgb(255, 255, 255); float: none; font-family: jw-icons; font-size: 1em; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; height: 40px; line-height: 1em; list-style: none; margin: 0px; opacity: 0.75; padding: 0px; transition: color 0.3s ease, fill 0.3s ease; vertical-align: baseline; width: 40px;" tabindex="0">
</div>
<div class="jw-arrow jw-reset" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); background-color: transparent; border: 0px; bottom: -0.2em; box-sizing: inherit; color: inherit; direction: ltr; float: none; font-size: 1em; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; height: 0.2em; left: 20px; line-height: 1em; list-style: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px -0.25em; opacity: 0; padding: 0px; pointer-events: none; position: absolute; vertical-align: baseline; visibility: hidden; width: 0.5em;">
</div>
<div class="jw-overlay jw-background-color jw-reset" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: none; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; color: inherit; direction: ltr; float: none; font-size: 1em; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: 1em; list-style: none; margin: 0.25em 0px 0px; opacity: 0; padding: 0.5em; pointer-events: none; position: absolute; right: 0px; top: 2.5em; transition: background-color 0.3s ease, opacity 0.3s ease, visibility 0.3s ease; vertical-align: baseline; visibility: hidden; white-space: nowrap;">
<span class="jw-text jw-dock-text jw-reset" style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; color: white; direction: ltr; float: none; font-size: 0.75em; font-stretch: normal; height: 1em; line-height: 1em; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline;"></span></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="jw-nextup-container jw-reset" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); background-color: transparent; border: 0px; bottom: 3.2em; box-sizing: inherit; color: inherit; cursor: pointer; direction: ltr; float: none; font-size: 1em; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; left: 0px; line-height: 1em; list-style: none; margin: 0px auto; max-width: 800px; opacity: 0; padding: 5px 12.2656px; pointer-events: none; position: absolute; right: 0px; text-align: right; transform: translateY(0px); transition: all 0.15s ease; vertical-align: baseline; visibility: hidden; width: 614px;">
<div class="jw-nextup jw-reset" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); background-color: transparent; border-radius: 0.3em; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; color: inherit; direction: ltr; display: inline-block; float: none; font-size: 1em; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: 1em; list-style: none; margin: 0px; max-width: 300px; overflow: hidden; padding: 0px; pointer-events: all; position: relative; text-align: left; vertical-align: baseline; width: 300px;">
<div class="jw-nextup-tooltip jw-reset" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); background-color: transparent; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; color: inherit; direction: ltr; float: none; font-size: 1em; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: 1em; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<div class="jw-nextup-header jw-reset" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); background: none rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #50e3c2; direction: ltr; float: none; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 700; line-height: normal; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 8px; vertical-align: baseline;">
</div>
<div class="jw-nextup-body jw-background-color jw-reset" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); background: none rgb(74, 74, 74); border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; color: white; direction: ltr; float: none; font-size: 1em; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: 1em; list-style: none; margin: 0px; overflow: hidden; padding: 0px; transition: background-color 0.3s ease, opacity 0.3s ease, visibility 0.3s ease; vertical-align: baseline;">
<div class="jw-nextup-thumbnail jw-reset jw-nextup-thumbnail-visible" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); background-color: transparent; background-image: url("https://content.jwplatform.com/thumbs/48YAJIwf-720.jpg"); background-position: 50% center; background-size: cover; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; color: inherit; direction: ltr; float: left; font-size: 1em; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; height: 60px; line-height: 1em; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; width: 135px;">
</div>
<div class="jw-nextup-title jw-reset" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); background-color: transparent; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: inherit; direction: ltr; float: left; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 700; height: 60px; line-height: 1.3; list-style: none; margin: 0px; overflow: hidden; padding: 5px 6px; position: relative; text-overflow: ellipsis; vertical-align: baseline; width: 165px;">
</div>
</div>
</div>
<button aria-label="Next Up Close" class="jw-icon jw-nextup-close jw-reset" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); border-color: initial; border-style: none; border-width: initial; box-sizing: inherit; color: white; direction: ltr; float: none; font-family: jw-icons; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: 1em; list-style: none; margin: 0px; opacity: 0; padding: 0px; position: absolute; right: 5px; text-align: left; top: 6px; transition: color 0.15s ease, opacity 0.15s ease, visibility 0.15s ease; vertical-align: baseline; visibility: hidden;"></button></div>
</div>
<div class="jw-controlbar jw-background-color jw-reset" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); background: none rgb(74, 74, 74); border-radius: 0.3em; border: 0px; bottom: 0.7em; box-sizing: inherit; color: inherit; direction: ltr; display: inline-block; float: none; font-size: 1em; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; height: 2em; left: 12.2656px; line-height: 1em; list-style: none; margin: 0px auto; max-width: 800px; padding: 0px 0.5em; pointer-events: all; position: absolute; right: 12.2656px; transition: background-color 0.3s ease, opacity 0.3s ease, visibility 0.3s ease; vertical-align: baseline; width: 589.438px;">
<div class="jw-group jw-controlbar-left-group jw-reset" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); background-color: transparent; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; color: inherit; direction: ltr; display: table-cell; float: none; font-size: 1em; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: 1em; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: nowrap;">
<div aria-label="Play" class="jw-icon jw-icon-inline jw-button-color jw-reset jw-icon-playback" role="button" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); background-color: transparent; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; color: white; cursor: pointer; direction: ltr; display: inline-block; fill: rgb(255, 255, 255); float: none; font-family: jw-icons; font-size: 1em; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; height: 2em; line-height: 2em; list-style: none; margin: 0px; min-width: 1.25em; padding: 0px 0.5em; position: relative; text-align: center; transition: color 0.3s ease, fill 0.3s ease; vertical-align: middle;" tabindex="0">
</div>
<div aria-label="Rewind 10s" class="jw-icon jw-icon-inline jw-button-color jw-reset jw-icon-rewind" role="button" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); background-color: transparent; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; color: white; cursor: pointer; direction: ltr; display: inline-block; fill: rgb(255, 255, 255); float: none; font-family: jw-icons; font-size: 1em; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; height: 2em; line-height: 2em; list-style: none; margin: 0px; min-width: 1.25em; padding: 0px 0.5em; position: relative; text-align: center; transition: color 0.3s ease, fill 0.3s ease; vertical-align: middle;" tabindex="0">
</div>
<span class="jw-text jw-reset jw-text-elapsed" role="timer" style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; color: white; cursor: pointer; direction: ltr; display: inline-block; float: none; font-size: 0.75em; font-stretch: normal; height: 2em; line-height: 2em; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0.5em; position: relative; text-align: center; vertical-align: middle;">00:00</span></div>
<div class="jw-group jw-controlbar-center-group jw-reset" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); background-color: transparent; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; color: inherit; direction: ltr; display: table-cell; float: none; font-size: 1em; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: 1em; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0.5em; position: relative; vertical-align: baseline; width: 277px;">
<div aria-hidden="true" class="jw-slider-time jw-background-color jw-reset jw-slider-horizontal jw-reset" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: none; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; color: inherit; cursor: pointer; direction: ltr; display: inline-block; float: none; font-size: 1em; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; height: 0.3em; line-height: 2.5em; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; position: relative; transition: background-color 0.3s ease, opacity 0.3s ease, visibility 0.3s ease; vertical-align: middle; width: 261px;">
<div class="jw-slider-container jw-reset" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); background-color: transparent; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; color: inherit; direction: ltr; float: none; font-size: 1em; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; height: 1em; line-height: 1em; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; position: relative; touch-action: none; vertical-align: baseline; width: 261px;">
<div class="jw-rail jw-reset" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); background: linear-gradient(rgb(50, 59, 76), rgb(47, 56, 71) 50%, rgb(50, 59, 76) 100%); border-radius: 0.3em; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; color: inherit; cursor: pointer; direction: ltr; float: none; font-size: 1em; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; height: 0.3em; line-height: 1em; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; position: absolute; vertical-align: baseline; width: 261px;">
</div>
<div class="jw-buffer jw-reset" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); background: linear-gradient(rgb(94, 101, 117), rgb(86, 94, 107) 50%, rgb(94, 101, 117) 100%); border-radius: 0.3em; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; color: inherit; cursor: pointer; direction: ltr; float: none; font-size: 1em; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; height: 0.3em; line-height: 1em; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; position: absolute; vertical-align: baseline; width: 75px;">
</div>
<div class="jw-progress jw-reset" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); background: none rgb(80, 227, 194); border-radius: 0.3em; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; color: inherit; cursor: pointer; direction: ltr; float: none; font-size: 1em; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; height: 0.3em; line-height: 1em; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; position: absolute; vertical-align: baseline; width: 0px;">
</div>
<div class="jw-knob jw-reset" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); background: none rgb(255, 255, 255); border-radius: 50%; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; color: white; direction: ltr; float: none; font-size: 1em; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; height: 0.7em; left: 0px; line-height: 1em; list-style: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px -0.3em; padding: 0px; pointer-events: none; position: absolute; top: -0.2em; transition: opacity 0.15s ease; vertical-align: baseline; width: 0.7em;">
</div>
<div class="jw-icon jw-icon-tooltip jw-tooltip-time jw-button-color jw-reset" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); background-color: transparent; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; color: white; cursor: pointer; direction: ltr; display: inline-block; fill: rgb(255, 255, 255); float: none; font-family: jw-icons; font-size: 1em; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; height: 2em; left: 35.2344px; line-height: 2em; list-style: none; margin: 0px; min-width: 1.25em; padding: 0px 0.5em; position: absolute; text-align: center; transition: color 0.3s ease, fill 0.3s ease; vertical-align: middle;">
<div class="jw-overlay jw-reset" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); background-color: transparent; border: 0px; bottom: 2em; box-sizing: inherit; color: inherit; direction: ltr; float: none; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 1em; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; left: 10px; line-height: 1em; list-style: none; margin: 0px; opacity: 0; padding: 0px; position: absolute; text-align: left; transition: opacity 0.3s ease, visibility 0.3s ease; vertical-align: baseline; visibility: hidden;">
<div class="jw-time-tip jw-background-color jw-reset" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: none; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border-radius: 0.3em; border: 0px; bottom: 1em; box-sizing: inherit; color: inherit; direction: ltr; float: none; font-family: inherit; font-size: 1em; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; left: -68px; line-height: 1em; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0.5em; pointer-events: none; position: relative; text-align: center; transition: background-color 0.3s ease, opacity 0.3s ease, visibility 0.3s ease; vertical-align: baseline;">
<div class="jw-reset" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); background-color: transparent; background-image: url("https://cdn.jwplayer.com/strips/odFRgM7l-120.jpg"); background-position: -240px -134px; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; color: inherit; direction: ltr; float: none; font-size: 1em; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; height: 67px; line-height: 1em; list-style: none; margin: 0px auto; padding: 0px; text-align: left; vertical-align: baseline; width: 120px;">
</div>
<span class="jw-text jw-reset" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); background-color: transparent; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; direction: ltr; float: none; font-size: 0.75em; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: inherit; height: 1em; line-height: 1em; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"></span></div>
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<span class="jw-text jw-reset jw-text-duration" role="timer" style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; color: white; cursor: pointer; direction: ltr; display: inline-block; float: none; font-size: 0.75em; font-stretch: normal; height: 2em; line-height: 2em; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0.5em; position: relative; text-align: center; vertical-align: middle;">05:20</span><br />
<div aria-label="Next" class="jw-icon jw-icon-inline jw-button-color jw-reset jw-icon-next" role="button" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); background-color: transparent; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; color: white; cursor: pointer; direction: ltr; display: inline-block; fill: rgb(255, 255, 255); float: none; font-family: jw-icons; font-size: 1em; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; height: 2em; line-height: 2em; list-style: none; margin: 0px; min-width: 1.25em; padding: 0px 0.5em; position: relative; text-align: center; transition: color 0.3s ease, fill 0.3s ease; vertical-align: middle;" tabindex="0">
</div>
<div aria-label="Quality" class="jw-icon jw-icon-tooltip jw-icon-hd jw-button-color jw-reset jw-toggle jw-off" role="button" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); background-color: transparent; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; color: white; cursor: pointer; direction: ltr; display: inline-block; fill: rgb(255, 255, 255); float: none; font-family: jw-icons; font-size: 1em; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; height: 2em; line-height: 2em; list-style: none; margin: 0px; min-width: 1.25em; padding: 0px 0.5em; position: relative; text-align: center; transition: color 0.3s ease, fill 0.3s ease; vertical-align: middle;" tabindex="0">
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</div>
</div>
<div class="jw-reset jw-icon-cast" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); background-color: transparent; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; color: inherit; cursor: pointer; direction: ltr; display: inline-block; float: none; font-size: 1em; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: 1em; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
</div>
<div aria-label="Volume" class="jw-icon jw-icon-tooltip jw-icon-volume jw-button-color jw-reset" role="button" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); background-color: transparent; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; color: white; cursor: pointer; direction: ltr; display: inline-block; fill: rgb(255, 255, 255); float: none; font-family: jw-icons; font-size: 1em; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; height: 2em; line-height: 2em; list-style: none; margin: 0px; min-width: 1.25em; padding: 0px 0.5em; position: relative; transition: color 0.3s ease, fill 0.3s ease; vertical-align: middle;" tabindex="0">
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<div aria-hidden="true" class="jw-slider-volume jw-volume-tip jw-background-color jw-reset jw-slider-vertical jw-reset" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: none; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border-radius: 0.3em; border: 0px; bottom: 0.2em; box-sizing: inherit; color: inherit; direction: ltr; float: none; font-size: 1em; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; height: 96px; left: -18.3906px; line-height: 1em; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 1em; position: relative; transition: background-color 0.3s ease, opacity 0.3s ease, visibility 0.3s ease; vertical-align: baseline; width: 36.7969px;">
<div class="jw-slider-container jw-reset" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); background-color: transparent; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; color: inherit; direction: ltr; float: none; font-size: 1em; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; height: 4em; line-height: 1em; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; position: relative; touch-action: none; vertical-align: baseline; width: 0.3em;">
<div class="jw-rail jw-reset" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); background: linear-gradient(to right, rgb(50, 59, 76), rgb(47, 56, 71) 50%, rgb(50, 59, 76) 100%); border-radius: 0.3em; border: 0px; bottom: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; color: inherit; cursor: pointer; direction: ltr; float: none; font-size: 1em; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; height: 64px; left: 0px; line-height: 1em; list-style: none; margin: 0px auto; padding: 0px; position: absolute; right: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; width: 0.3em;">
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<div class="jw-progress jw-reset" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); background: none rgb(80, 227, 194); border-radius: 0.3em; border: 0px; bottom: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; color: inherit; cursor: pointer; direction: ltr; float: none; font-size: 1em; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; height: 57.5938px; left: 0px; line-height: 1em; list-style: none; margin: 0px auto; padding: 0px; position: absolute; right: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; width: 0.3em;">
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<div class="jw-knob jw-reset" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); background: none rgb(255, 255, 255); border-radius: 50%; border: 0px; bottom: 57.5938px; box-sizing: inherit; direction: ltr; float: none; font-size: 1em; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; height: 0.7em; left: -0.2em; line-height: 1em; list-style: none; margin: 0px 0px -0.3em; padding: 0px; pointer-events: none; position: absolute; right: 0px; transition: opacity 0.15s ease; vertical-align: baseline; width: 0.7em;">
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<div aria-label="Fullscreen" class="jw-icon jw-icon-inline jw-button-color jw-reset jw-icon-fullscreen" role="button" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); background-color: transparent; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; color: white; cursor: pointer; direction: ltr; display: inline-block; fill: rgb(255, 255, 255); float: none; font-family: jw-icons; font-size: 1em; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; height: 2em; line-height: 2em; list-style: none; margin: 0px; min-width: 1.25em; padding: 0px 0.5em; position: relative; text-align: center; transition: color 0.3s ease, fill 0.3s ease; vertical-align: middle;" tabindex="0">
</div>
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</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</article><br />
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