Saturday, October 21, 2017

How To Deal With Dating Burnout

Maybe you love going on Tinder dates five times a week. Or maybe you did love it, but now it’s getting old. Or, if you’re anything like me, maybe even just the occasional date is getting overwhelming and everyone you meet is leaving a sour taste in your mouth. If that sounds like you, listen up. Because it could be dating fatigue— or even dating burnout.
“When you have dating burnout, you become less emotionally available,” Psychology Today explains. “You go on countless dates, but you don’t feel much for any of them. You wonder if it’s the people you’re meeting, or if you’re no longer capable of having feelings at all. Your self-worth is shaky, and you feel hopeless, sad, and helpless. Dating feels more like a chore than an exciting opportunity. But, you continue going on dates because dating burnout is better than the pain you imagine if you stopped trying.” But you know what? Stopping trying isn’t the worst thing the world— especially if you only do it for a little while. Seriously, it’s OK to give yourself a break sometimes. Here’s what you need to know about dating burnout and what you can do about it. Because dating is supposed to be fun remember?

If You’re Not Enjoying It Anymore, Give Yourself A Damn Break

The comment about it feeling like a ‘chore’ is an important one. It doesn’t matter if you feel like you should be enjoying it, if you’re not then you’re not. Don’t push yourself. Because if you’re not enjoying the process, you’re going to take it out on the person you’re going out with. You’ll be totally underwhelmed— and it often won’t be their fault.

Breaks Can Be Short Or Long

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As soon as you’re feeling jaded and cynical about datingcynical about dating— just stop. There’s no reason to overthink it, because taking a break doesn’t mean you’re giving up for good. Take a week off dating, take a month off. Hell, take longer. It’s whatever feels right for you. You don’t need to feel like you’re throwing your hands up in the air completely, you’re just giving yourself an opportunity to reset and come back to it feeling fresh and, more importantly, positive about the idea of meeting someone.

Use The Time To Touch Base With Yourself

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Breaks can be so useful, because they give you a change to get back in touch with yourself. Remember what you love doing and all the great things about being single— this will keep you from dating just for the sake of dating. But also remind yourself of why you are dating, what you’re looking for in a person and what you want out of a relationship. Giving yourself some time to feel more grounded and in touch with yourself will make dating a much happier prospect.
If you really want to meet someone, you may feel the pressure to keep on the dating wheel. But dating while feeling pressured, needy, or just plain tired isn’t going to do anyone any good. Take a break and get back in touch with what makes you feel happy. Then, when it seems like a fun idea, ease your way back in. It shouldn’t feel like a job— so if it’s not adding to your life, you simply don’t have to do it.

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